Welcome to yet another first edition of what will be a recurring series here on Verbalinfusion: Stupid Shit. In this, what will surely become a venerated and renowned series, we will scour the web for, well, you guessed it, the stupidest shit we can find. This is in no way filler to bridge the gap to tomorrow's opinion/think-piece from guest contributor Josh Corman. I swear.
If you've ever been on an airplane, then you'll be familiar with Skymall, the entity that very well may single handedly make the Stupid Shit series work.
For this post I considered a vacuum exclusively designed to suck up and zap insects, a "snake fence" (a tiny fence to go around your yard and keep serpentine intruders OUT), but finally decided on this.
Frankly I can't imagine anything more terrifying than looking out my back window on a peaceful summer's day to see the innocent faces of the young; lifeless, frozen in time. The ad claims "We can almost hear the giggles as this nearly life-size young trio careens down childhood's slide".
I can almost hear the giggles too, but to me it sounds more like something out of The Shining than something out of a mirthful summer scene. And second, what exactly is "childhood's slide"? I get the suspicion someone took this blurb from a Japanese ad, ran it once through an online translator, and copy/pasted it onto the english site.
At first I couldn't think of one person who would ever shell out $450 clams for this monstrosity, but then I remembered this guy.
Remember, tune in tomorrow for our first guest post from Josh Corman.
2 comments:
1. I would have guessed WELL north of $450.
2. Doesn't childhood's slide imply its imminent conclusion? What a depressing thought in metallic form.
3. Re-post this, but mention my name a few more times.
4. I'll start out as a guest, but pretty soon you'll realize I've put a blow-up mattress in the kitchen and eaten the leftovers you were saving for lunch. Zany hijinks (are there any other kind?) will ensue.
replace "stupid" with "terrifying" and you've got it.
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